Friday, February 27, 2009

torn

Physically I'm pretty much ready to leave. I have our passports ready, suit cases almost packed, and house in order. I have medical releases signed, wills made, and e-mails entitle "in case i die..." sent. I'm crazy but like to prepared with safe combo's, life insurance policies, and my last wishes made. If I don't, something will happen. If I do, nothing will happen. Months ago I thought 9 days would be perfect. A romantic get away with the man I love would be bliss. However, emotionally I'm not ready. I'm torn. Tears form when I think of the boys I love and will miss...
I will miss this sassy 4 and soon to be 5 year old. His charm and laughter that fill each of my days. His constant need to eat cereal and filling him up with bowl after bowl. His thought provoking questions throughout the day and his bragging of his Daddy. He is quick to help his little brother but also quick to tattle on him too. We play Candyland and practice reading together. We like to make projects together and he can even add a scrapbooking brad to his projects with stamps and stickers. He tells me of his love daily and needs my kisses to sleep. If kisses are forgotten or he needs more he'll sneak into my room and steal another kiss or two from me. He is my joy. I will miss this crazy 2 and soon to be 3 year old. His spunk and determination gets me through my days. He never leaves me a dull moment. He never gives up and knows exactly what he wants. My days are spent fill him up with cup after cup after cup of orange or black (grape) juice. We play Cars and line them up while we fill them up with gas. I listen to Disney's Cars once or twice a day as he watches and laughs at Mater driving backwards.He loves a nice warm "bubble tub" and could play in there for hours. He asks me to "sit" as he pats on the couch so we can snuggle together each morning and afternoon. He tells me he missed me while he slept and is quick to give kisses and hugs. He too, is my joy. I'm not worried about their safety or if they will be having a good time while I am away. They will be smothered with loves and kisses from both sets of Grandparents for the next 9 days. They will have trips to zoos, parks, beaches, museums and Grandma Stewie's Toy Room. Vintage and classic toys from the past. Shane will practice t-ball with Grandpa Young and I'm sure will hit a few home runs to tell me about later. Trevor will love jumping on the trampoline with Grandpa Stewie and eating pancakes with Grandma Young. They will be fine. More then fine, they will having a trip of their lives without me while I'm having a trip of my life without them thousands of miles away with the man of my dreams. Once I am there safe and sound I will not be torn. I will be relaxing on the beach. Sipping Diet Coke again. Enjoying sunshine on my back. Eating the freshest fruit. Having time alone with my husband. He may have to tear me away to get on the plane to get away, but I'm thinking he may also have to tear me away from the beaches 9 days later to get back home to the 2 little boys I love the most in this world and will miss dearly.

5 comments:

j- said...

Have fun!! You are MY hero, little miss prepared!! Next time I go on vacation I am calling you to help get prepared!

Monson Family said...

AWWWWW!!!! I love it! It is such a bitter/sweet moment isn't it! Yes, I think you are all set to go! You will have a blast as well as those 2 adorable boys! I can't wait to hear about both sides of the vacation!! Have SO much fun!! We will be thinking of you guys!!!

Chet and Kristina Cox said...

I had all those feelings too. We just went to Wsahington DC for 5 days and while it is relaxing to be without child and get to sit through meals and talk and sleep in without a jumping yelling 2 year old it was the hardest thing ever to be without him and thinking about him being there playing with you too. You'll have a great time though and will remember it always i'm sure. I am jealous I love the beach!

Gramma Stewie said...

W PROMISE to take EXCELLENT CARE of those precious boys!!!! I know you will miss them, and might even feel a little guilty on a day when you realize you didn't miss them (you were having so much fun)....well, maybe that part won't happen....but it could. You just enjoy yourselves and don't forget to "say your prayers" each night be fore you go to sleep....and have Damon pinch you, to make sure you are not dreaming. Have soooo much FUN!!!!
143, Mom
Oh, I love those black & white pictures of the boys looking up at you....so cute!

Keeping Life Creative said...

Have an awesome time! Can't wait for pictures!